The Silent Art of Watching, by Tafkar
Aug. 23rd, 2005 03:33 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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the_comfy_chairStory link on Wraithbait: The Silent Art of Watching
Is it het? Slash? A twosome, or a threesome? Non-con or not? This story fascinates me, not only because it's a story with a rare, dark twist in the relationship between John and Rodney, but also because it's a difficult one to categorize.
I'd been searching the idea file in my head for a while, trying to come up with truly dark but still believable John/Rodney scenarios, when Tafkar showed me this one. I stopped searching, at that point--she'd already written what I would have, if I could. The setting, the barbarian culture, is well presented, rough and dark and and angst-making, and their predicament, to have finally run across a culture who used the excuse of the Wraith threat to wallow in the worst of what lurks inside human beings, as Rodney says, was very real to me in a could-have-been-an-ep way. But was the sex?
I am approaching this story, I'll admit, with a willingness to make allowances for any story that offers me a dark, trippy ride. I'm into this sort of thing, and I'm thrilled when it's done well and ready to forgive a little license if needed. I don't think this one needs that wiggle room, though. Would the sex happen? Not on the show, of course, unless it moved to HBO, which, ohmigosh, takes me to a very happy place. So, assuming the show has moved to HBO, could I be convinced that it would go down this way? I could, and I was. I was because of Rodney's terror, and Teyla's almost surely feeling that this was probably the last night of Rodney's life--she's been through it, already, she knows what's coming and she knows Rodney's limitations, by now. She also knows he's terrified. I don't think her offer is made strictly out of pity, though; I think, as the story says, that they've both thought about each other, that they've all thought about each other. Who wouldn't? They're attractive people, they work closely together, they've bonded through shared fear and loss and pain. So, yes, in these fairly extreme circumstances, I can see the kiss happening, I can see them taking it further, reaching for a little joy, maybe Rodney's last chance, before tomorrow. And, well, there was grog involved, which always makes these things a little easier.
So, I've gone there with the sex, and Rodney and Teyla are making the most of it, and then...here's John. And John is not happy. John, as we learn at the end of the story, has been through and given more than either of them knew, at first. He's gone to the place where smirky, wise-cracking, charming John is subsumed by the John who killed all those Genii, who shot down the unarmed Wraith in the cage, who'll do whatever it takes to save his people. The look in his eye that he gets at those moments, the grim determination, and the way he seems to shrug off the effects, later, create for me a John that I can see going to this dark, unwholesome, edge-of-breaking place (or, at least I WANT to see him go there, and the story supports it well enough that I can.) This John is frightening in that he's both nearly feral and worryingly fragile, caught somewhere between the matter-of-fact killer and the team leader. Walking in on them this way, seeing them like this, contributes to that state, I think--he's rocking on the edge of something, and Rodney and Teyla see it. Are they frightened of him? I don't think so, but I think they're frightened for him.
That's where I have to suspend the most, I think--that Rodney and Teyla go forward with it. From a kink-lover's POV, I want it to happen; dispassionately, I don't know if I'm 100% sold that they would. I'm glad that they did, I love that they did, and I love that the story takes us there, and, once again, if this were the HBO version, I'd have no problem. Strictly looking at the John, Rodney and Teyla from the show, as I see them in canon, I don't know. It's hard to say. It's well enough written that I can easily go there, but if I force myself to step back, I'm just not sure. But the set up is there; the writer did the work, led us logically down the path, wrapped it in dark, moody atmosphere and a sort of horrific feeling of a good thing gone wrong, of something sweet and hot being contaminated, as though touched by the very barbarity of the culture that's holding them. And, in a way, it has--John, I think, feels he's sunk to the level of the people who are forcing them to follow their ugly rituals, that he had to become like them to defeat them, tap the same dark place they do. And to have done that, to have gone there, for the teammates that he loves, to still be in that semi-wild state and to come in to find them that way.... And Rodney's guilt, which he'd of course feel, and their recognition of something not right with John, and their concern for him, and the weirdness, the wrongness of the whole set-up, the two days they've spent in this horrible place, fearing for their lives, surrounded by the ugliness--yeah, I can go there. I can definitely go there. Is it just me, because it appeals to me so much, because I want to follow this reasoning and see this happening? Do you see it, too?
And, then, John joins in. Ohmigosh. Rodney's ambivalence, his discomfort while at the same time feeling some confused, unwanted arousal, his realizing that John is touching himself while watching, his vulnerability combined with his passion for Teyla--yowsa. That works for me in a big way. But the biggest gut-punch is yet to come; when John climbs (still naked, oh, yeah) into the bed with them and tells Rodney what he's done for him, lets him feel the relief of his life spared with the added guilt of the cost to John and the fear that something's been broken now that might not be easily mended--that really did it for me. Rodney pulling Teyla's hand to his chest as he turns away and worries about tomorrow for new reasons--I imagine I can see his face as DH would play that moment, and it ruins me. Flowing with the sex pays off entirely in the angst-fest at the end (if the sex didn't pay its own way, which it does.)
So, yes, big yes, for me, to the darkness, to the set-up, to the sex, to Breaking!John and Rodney and Teyla's acquiescence to his demands, to the heartburn at the end--the whole may be greater than the sum of its parts, for me. I think it's a terrific story, and one of the very few darkfics in the fandom I think have pulled something like this off.
So, is it non-con? Rodney and Teyla go along but don't want to, obviously. How coerced do they feel? Since their participation feels forced, is this a threesome, or a het twosome with a creepy interloper? I vote for threesome, because these three are going to fix this thing; I have faith that they will. If I could demand a sequel, it would be one in which they spend the time needed working through it, then come together entirely consensually to push the memory of the earlier event from their minds. Well, I might; I might also want the sequel in which things stay broken, get worse, spiral into abject misery for all of them, and then the Wraith come and they all die alone, because I'm dark like that. Or, more likely, they might go through some tough but necessary adjusting and re-bonding time, and end as friends, again, with this dark secret between them but greater understanding of each other, and more compassion. This is one of those stories that makes me wonder, what next, while not wanting to know, know. The possibilities in my head are delicious.
What I wonder most, I suppose, in regard to how others see this story, is whether the sort of emotional hinge-pin moment, the one where Rodney and Teyla decide to go forward with it, works for others, too. And, if it does, is it as much because you want it to as that you could believe in it? Is it more about what you believe the characters would do or what you want the characters to do? Me, I don't know. How about you?
Disclaimer: I was a beta on this story, but what I learned about the author's intent and processes while working with her on it isn't a part of my review. I'm divorcing what I know from what I feel and think about this story as it stands, I promise. Please, if you review a story you've betaed, remember to do the same. No insidertrading reviews. *g*
Is it het? Slash? A twosome, or a threesome? Non-con or not? This story fascinates me, not only because it's a story with a rare, dark twist in the relationship between John and Rodney, but also because it's a difficult one to categorize.
I'd been searching the idea file in my head for a while, trying to come up with truly dark but still believable John/Rodney scenarios, when Tafkar showed me this one. I stopped searching, at that point--she'd already written what I would have, if I could. The setting, the barbarian culture, is well presented, rough and dark and and angst-making, and their predicament, to have finally run across a culture who used the excuse of the Wraith threat to wallow in the worst of what lurks inside human beings, as Rodney says, was very real to me in a could-have-been-an-ep way. But was the sex?
I am approaching this story, I'll admit, with a willingness to make allowances for any story that offers me a dark, trippy ride. I'm into this sort of thing, and I'm thrilled when it's done well and ready to forgive a little license if needed. I don't think this one needs that wiggle room, though. Would the sex happen? Not on the show, of course, unless it moved to HBO, which, ohmigosh, takes me to a very happy place. So, assuming the show has moved to HBO, could I be convinced that it would go down this way? I could, and I was. I was because of Rodney's terror, and Teyla's almost surely feeling that this was probably the last night of Rodney's life--she's been through it, already, she knows what's coming and she knows Rodney's limitations, by now. She also knows he's terrified. I don't think her offer is made strictly out of pity, though; I think, as the story says, that they've both thought about each other, that they've all thought about each other. Who wouldn't? They're attractive people, they work closely together, they've bonded through shared fear and loss and pain. So, yes, in these fairly extreme circumstances, I can see the kiss happening, I can see them taking it further, reaching for a little joy, maybe Rodney's last chance, before tomorrow. And, well, there was grog involved, which always makes these things a little easier.
So, I've gone there with the sex, and Rodney and Teyla are making the most of it, and then...here's John. And John is not happy. John, as we learn at the end of the story, has been through and given more than either of them knew, at first. He's gone to the place where smirky, wise-cracking, charming John is subsumed by the John who killed all those Genii, who shot down the unarmed Wraith in the cage, who'll do whatever it takes to save his people. The look in his eye that he gets at those moments, the grim determination, and the way he seems to shrug off the effects, later, create for me a John that I can see going to this dark, unwholesome, edge-of-breaking place (or, at least I WANT to see him go there, and the story supports it well enough that I can.) This John is frightening in that he's both nearly feral and worryingly fragile, caught somewhere between the matter-of-fact killer and the team leader. Walking in on them this way, seeing them like this, contributes to that state, I think--he's rocking on the edge of something, and Rodney and Teyla see it. Are they frightened of him? I don't think so, but I think they're frightened for him.
That's where I have to suspend the most, I think--that Rodney and Teyla go forward with it. From a kink-lover's POV, I want it to happen; dispassionately, I don't know if I'm 100% sold that they would. I'm glad that they did, I love that they did, and I love that the story takes us there, and, once again, if this were the HBO version, I'd have no problem. Strictly looking at the John, Rodney and Teyla from the show, as I see them in canon, I don't know. It's hard to say. It's well enough written that I can easily go there, but if I force myself to step back, I'm just not sure. But the set up is there; the writer did the work, led us logically down the path, wrapped it in dark, moody atmosphere and a sort of horrific feeling of a good thing gone wrong, of something sweet and hot being contaminated, as though touched by the very barbarity of the culture that's holding them. And, in a way, it has--John, I think, feels he's sunk to the level of the people who are forcing them to follow their ugly rituals, that he had to become like them to defeat them, tap the same dark place they do. And to have done that, to have gone there, for the teammates that he loves, to still be in that semi-wild state and to come in to find them that way.... And Rodney's guilt, which he'd of course feel, and their recognition of something not right with John, and their concern for him, and the weirdness, the wrongness of the whole set-up, the two days they've spent in this horrible place, fearing for their lives, surrounded by the ugliness--yeah, I can go there. I can definitely go there. Is it just me, because it appeals to me so much, because I want to follow this reasoning and see this happening? Do you see it, too?
And, then, John joins in. Ohmigosh. Rodney's ambivalence, his discomfort while at the same time feeling some confused, unwanted arousal, his realizing that John is touching himself while watching, his vulnerability combined with his passion for Teyla--yowsa. That works for me in a big way. But the biggest gut-punch is yet to come; when John climbs (still naked, oh, yeah) into the bed with them and tells Rodney what he's done for him, lets him feel the relief of his life spared with the added guilt of the cost to John and the fear that something's been broken now that might not be easily mended--that really did it for me. Rodney pulling Teyla's hand to his chest as he turns away and worries about tomorrow for new reasons--I imagine I can see his face as DH would play that moment, and it ruins me. Flowing with the sex pays off entirely in the angst-fest at the end (if the sex didn't pay its own way, which it does.)
So, yes, big yes, for me, to the darkness, to the set-up, to the sex, to Breaking!John and Rodney and Teyla's acquiescence to his demands, to the heartburn at the end--the whole may be greater than the sum of its parts, for me. I think it's a terrific story, and one of the very few darkfics in the fandom I think have pulled something like this off.
So, is it non-con? Rodney and Teyla go along but don't want to, obviously. How coerced do they feel? Since their participation feels forced, is this a threesome, or a het twosome with a creepy interloper? I vote for threesome, because these three are going to fix this thing; I have faith that they will. If I could demand a sequel, it would be one in which they spend the time needed working through it, then come together entirely consensually to push the memory of the earlier event from their minds. Well, I might; I might also want the sequel in which things stay broken, get worse, spiral into abject misery for all of them, and then the Wraith come and they all die alone, because I'm dark like that. Or, more likely, they might go through some tough but necessary adjusting and re-bonding time, and end as friends, again, with this dark secret between them but greater understanding of each other, and more compassion. This is one of those stories that makes me wonder, what next, while not wanting to know, know. The possibilities in my head are delicious.
What I wonder most, I suppose, in regard to how others see this story, is whether the sort of emotional hinge-pin moment, the one where Rodney and Teyla decide to go forward with it, works for others, too. And, if it does, is it as much because you want it to as that you could believe in it? Is it more about what you believe the characters would do or what you want the characters to do? Me, I don't know. How about you?
Disclaimer: I was a beta on this story, but what I learned about the author's intent and processes while working with her on it isn't a part of my review. I'm divorcing what I know from what I feel and think about this story as it stands, I promise. Please, if you review a story you've betaed, remember to do the same. No insider
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Date: 2005-08-23 06:12 pm (UTC)What I wonder most, I suppose, in regard to how others see this story, is whether the sort of emotional hinge-pin moment, the one where Rodney and Teyla decide to go forward with it, works for others, too. And, if it does, is it as much because you want it to as that you could believe in it? Is it more about what you believe the characters would do or what you want the characters to do?
Yes, that hinge-pin moment did work for me, but it was because I didn't want them to continue. The thought of someone in such a dark state of mind watching me in an intimate moment like that is, to me, horrifying. That's not what the act is about, and I wanted John to leave so that they could finish undisturbed (in both senses of the word). So when they allowed him to stay, and watch, and continued to have sex, that was a powerful moment for me because it illustrated the level of fucked-up-ness of the situation.
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Date: 2005-08-23 09:08 pm (UTC)Ooooh, that's very cool, and, yes. I had that sense, too, of something good twisted into something wrong enough to be kinda horrific, for them and for me. That the story is sailing along as it is, all sweet and hot and fraught and involving, and then, suddenly, bam, it all goes south, is a big part of the appeal of the story for me, and what makes me feel that, though it's not truly non-con, it sort of is, or maybe it just makes me feel that it is, while it isn't, which is also very cool.