Take Clothes Off As Directed by Helenish

[millefiori.livejournal.com]

Take Clothes Off As Directed by helenish is NC-17, BDSM themed, and an unauthorized homage set in the alternate universe created by xanthelj in General & Dr. Sheppard and Coming Home.

I read Helen's story both as a sly, clever reflection of male/female relations in Western society, and a look at the potential pitfalls of a society with an institutionalized BDSM lifestyle. And it's an interesting contrast to Xanthe's stories and style.

First off, I have to say I feel kind of cheeky posting about this, because I've only read parts of General and Dr. Sheppard, and I haven't yet decided whether or not to read Coming Home. I have some strong feelings about BDSM, and (of course) that colors how I read stories with that subject matter. I think BDSM in the bedroom is a kink, and I take a live and let live attitude toward kink. BDSM (and Domestic Discipline) as a lifestyle is something else, and it's something which for personal reasons makes me uncomfortable.

Having said all that, I think I read enough of General & Dr. Sheppard to get something of a feel for the writing, and I think it's an interesting contrast. Xanthe's writing feels lush and emotional, sweeping the reader along like a fictional Tchaikovsky. Helen's writing is more spare, quirky and at times almost uncomfortable, more like, say, Erik Satie. And I think these different styles suit the different stories very well. I can see these two styles/stories existing in the same universe, the lush, operatic story told of people who are happy and suited to their lives in this society, and the quirky, sadder story of people who don't quite fit and aren't quite as happy.

I found Helen's story to be very sad, the only hopeful part being that John had finally found in Rodney a partner who loved him and would treat him the way he wants/deserves to be treated. I'm not sure if it was Helen's intent, but I read this as John not really being a sub per se (nor Rodney being much of a top), but both of them forced into the roles by the rigid hierarchy of their society, and going along the best they could. I read it as John being the sort of person who wants to play BDSM games in the bedroom, not live it as a lifestyle, and the only reason he wasn't crushed by this society is because he's a stubborn, contrary bastard.

I was almost nauseated by the way Elizabeth so obviously and earnestly felt she was doing the best, right thing for John with her inappropriate 'discipline', when in actuality she was more of a hindrance, just one more thing to be ignored/overcome in John's attempts to be himself and to do his job. Because being routinely beaten, undermined and humiliated is just the downside of being a sub who's trying to do his chosen job. (And, of course, he wouldn't have these problems if he hadn't got above himself and stayed in his proper place.) It felt very realistic, and therefore very unsettling, to see just how easy it was to strip John of his dignity and humanity, and turn him into a second-class citizen, essentially a slave. And perhaps it's all the more unsettling because there are still people in the world who are slaves, and who are routinely treated in degrading, disrespectful ways, and they too have no choice but to suck it up and endure.

Although it's a bit of a slap in the face to overlay this dynamic on our society and see the sub=women angle, I think (I hope) things are not quite that bad for women anymore. At least not in first world Western societies. It's also good to remind myself that fantasy universes aside, most of the people living rigid BDSM lifestyles are doing so because they want to, not because they have no choice. Nevertheless, I think this story is going to stay with me for a long time.

Comments

[moojja.livejournal.com]

I had the opposite reaction to you. I think John is a sub, who enjoys being a sub in bed. His first sexual encounter before the military (and the issues that started with it) was with his girlfriend. Who tied him up with her socks (great detail).

I think the military, and the long string of bad one nightstands killed/dampened his ability to enjoy sex. He also cuts his hair, dresses plainly just so people could take him seriously. He tries to hide his sexuality. I think that carried into the bedroom. He is not able to enjoy being a sub, because it comes with so much baggage.

After all he enjoys the normal sex he has Rodney, which in this world is getting tied up and fisted.

[mutecornett.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I thought that too--that he was a sub who enjoys being a sub *in bed*, but some subs are subs 24/7, and some subs are subs in the bedroom only, and John reads to me as the latter, but there's no room in that rigid society for that shade of grey.

[ladyagnew.livejournal.com]

I think the military, and the long string of bad one nightstands killed/dampened his ability to enjoy sex.

See, this is the reason why I think Helen's story is not about the unfairness of gender dynamics in bed -- not a commentary on the unfariness of D/s or BDSM or anything -- but a story about how John's experiences in the Air Force essentially made him screwed up about something that was innately inside him. He first becomes erotically aware of Rodney during the punishment spankings, and it's subtextually indicated that he starts acting out more because he doesn't mind these painful spankings that Rodney (as civilian leader) has to hand out. But he tries to suppress and deny because anytime his sexual wants came alive during his time in the force, they were denigrated and made into something ugly, painful and humiliating, and NOT in the good way.

I'd carry the argument further that John's sexual hang-ups were the least of it: for so long, he's had to repress and be wary of anything relating to his sexuality and "sub" status, that he's been warped to almost hating himself and what he is. He hates himself for all the things that he gave up to get where he is -- to fulfill his dream to fly -- by suppressing all these facets that didn't conform with his role in the force, and which makes it harder for him to see what Rodney wants in him. All the repression was necessary for him to get what he wants, but he's had to almost kill the part of himself that wanted all the sub-ish things he secretly wanted (Elsa pushing him into a wall and taking him, etc.). He thinks he's an inadequate sub, not worthy of Rodney (who could get subs in bed by being abrasive and knowing how to tie intricate knots) because why would Rodney stay with him? John doesn't take care of himself, doesn't so pleasingly "sub" things like cater to him nakedly or get physically roughed up, doesn't kneel at his feet, etc. John's whole ideal of what it means to be a sub has been skewed out of naturalness by his years in the force, by all the ugliness he's been exposed to (he thinks Rodney is a good guy b/c he's never called the subs he's bedded "dumb sluts" -- imagine a woman saying that, and your heart breaks). John falls for Rodney and then spends the last half of the story waiting for the other shoe to drop -- Rodney breaking up with him and marrying a more traditional sub, Rodney insulting and undermining him behind his back, Rodney getting tired to catering to his "frigid" sexual state and finding someone better at being a sub -- which provokes him into desperately negotiating with his idealization of Rodney by offering to do anything it takes to keep him, even stuff that he (John) doesn't personally find appealing in order to keep this one small beautiful thing that is his relationship with Rodney. John's not used to being treated with respect and love and genuine affection, so he's really confused when Rodney is just so very into him. He doesn't know how to act, like a battered woman who finally dates a nice guy and can't literally see why she deserves decent treatment.

While Rodney, on the other hand, is all plain sailing: he sees John as this beautiful, intelligent, mouthy sub, responsive and hot in bed, and cannot fathom the twisty depths of John's crap self-esteem. So Rodney thinks (of course), it's all about him, or maybe they're not compatible, and doesn't understand that John's fucked-up state of mind. I love the ending because it spells out that John maybe -- just maybe -- gets it: that Rodney thinks he's lucky to be with John, not the other way round. Actually, I think at basis, that's my definition of a good relationship: both partners think s/he is the one who's lucky to be with the other person.

God, the more I think about the story, and read it, the sadder I get.