I suspect that my own tendency to friendly promiscuity is colouring my reading rather a lot...

Yes! I know I have a tendency to go too far into the opposite direction because where you say "I know I would", I say "no bloody way!" But I'm pretty pleased that given these differences we still seem to be in complete agreement about the story itself. For what it's worth, I agree completely with everything you say except for the Kavanagh example (which depends more on how you interpret canon characters than on how you interpret the story) and sex in the city Atlantis. *g*