I loved this story, loved its darkness and pain and I loved the way she used the structure, made it such an important part of the storytelling. I hadn't considered before what a difference there would have been had the story been told without the time-shifting, and you're right; everything that came after that moment in the gateroom might very well have felt anticlimactic without the shifts. By using the shifts to place that moment at the end of the story, and by approaching it from two directions, gradually seeing how not-okay both the beginning and the ending of the story were, it hit me twice as hard, even knowing that John and Rodney survive. There were so many, "Oh, no, that's why--oh, no!" moments-- the hits against the iris, the dividing of the food, for instance, that had me flipping back and re-reading with more horror than if they'd been told to me using a more linear timeline. So effective, here.
I've used this device in a story (mine was more 5-1-6-2-7-3-8-4-9-10 in structure) to heighten tension, and I liked how it worked. Stories that use this device often strike me the way dzurlady mentioned it felt to her--like a detective story, where the crime has already happened and now we're drawn into wanting to know who and how and why, searching for clues as we go. It's very engaging, when done well, but can be confusing when it isn't, when the author tries to weave in more than two timelines or jumps seemingly pointlessly around in a way that makes things too hard to follow. If I don't know that's what I'm reading, it might take me a section or two to catch on, even when it's done well; if it's too ridiculously twisty, I'll probably give up on it. This one was faboo.
It is a manipulative device, yes, in the best sense, in that it presents the story in a way that increases my appreciation of it, in the elements of mystery it creates, in the rollercoaster feel, those "take a breath" moments interspersed with the horror, the way it pulls me in with evidence that John and Rodney are okay and then whomps me thoroughly with how untrue that is. This is a kind of manipulation I can get behind, unlike the kill-the-puppy-and-play-sad-music manipulations of some movies (argh, I hate that.) This is crafty. It's terrific storytelling.
I like your observations about the nature of fanfic making the dark and grim and horrific more palatable. I think I'd have thought that wasn't true, that our strong attachment to the characters, going in, would work to make the horrific even more so (which is cool but also hard on people), but, yes, the idea that one can pull back and say, "It's only a story, it's not real, like the show is," *g* or find a palate cleanser afterwards is interesting. And we all appreciate the reduced need for world-building, the ability to jump right into the meat of the story with characters and situations we already know, but maybe that does work especially well when the story is as intense as this one is. Hmmm.
I'd really like to see you compare and contrast the use of alternate structure in this story and in Kaneko's Intersections, another, very different kind of story that also successfully manipulates structure in interesting ways, to different ends. Maybe in another couple of months? *g*
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2005-10-03 04:14 am (UTC)I've used this device in a story (mine was more 5-1-6-2-7-3-8-4-9-10 in structure) to heighten tension, and I liked how it worked. Stories that use this device often strike me the way dzurlady mentioned it felt to her--like a detective story, where the crime has already happened and now we're drawn into wanting to know who and how and why, searching for clues as we go. It's very engaging, when done well, but can be confusing when it isn't, when the author tries to weave in more than two timelines or jumps seemingly pointlessly around in a way that makes things too hard to follow. If I don't know that's what I'm reading, it might take me a section or two to catch on, even when it's done well; if it's too ridiculously twisty, I'll probably give up on it. This one was faboo.
It is a manipulative device, yes, in the best sense, in that it presents the story in a way that increases my appreciation of it, in the elements of mystery it creates, in the rollercoaster feel, those "take a breath" moments interspersed with the horror, the way it pulls me in with evidence that John and Rodney are okay and then whomps me thoroughly with how untrue that is. This is a kind of manipulation I can get behind, unlike the kill-the-puppy-and-play-sad-music manipulations of some movies (argh, I hate that.) This is crafty. It's terrific storytelling.
I like your observations about the nature of fanfic making the dark and grim and horrific more palatable. I think I'd have thought that wasn't true, that our strong attachment to the characters, going in, would work to make the horrific even more so (which is cool but also hard on people), but, yes, the idea that one can pull back and say, "It's only a story, it's not real, like the show is," *g* or find a palate cleanser afterwards is interesting. And we all appreciate the reduced need for world-building, the ability to jump right into the meat of the story with characters and situations we already know, but maybe that does work especially well when the story is as intense as this one is. Hmmm.
I'd really like to see you compare and contrast the use of alternate structure in this story and in Kaneko's Intersections, another, very different kind of story that also successfully manipulates structure in interesting ways, to different ends. Maybe in another couple of months? *g*