the_comfy_chair | Hindsight, by Rageprufrock

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Hindsight, by Rageprufrock

I think this community is a terrific idea, but I haven't seen anything come out of it so far so I thought I'd give it a go. Please bear in mind that I haven't written this kind of analysis in many years, and I was never much good at it then. So, on that confident note...

Link: Hindsight, by Rageprufrock
Summary: discussion of the characterisations in the above story

The story is an AU, in which John never joined the Air Force, becoming instead an FBI agent. Rodney's history up to the point where the story begins seems unchanged. Then one day in Colorado, Rodney discovers a bomb in his car, and John is subsequently called to the scene. That's how they meet, and the story goes from there.

The thing about AU's that has always attracted my interest is the characterisations. They really need to be spot-on if the characters are to be removed from the familiarity of their usual surroundings. On the first read, my opinion was that Pru had wholeheartedly succeeded in this. On the second read, I tried to be a bit more critical.

John's character was quite different to the John we see in canon in several ways. He seemed more open, less self-contained, and while he does work long hours and live alone, you get the sense that it's less of a choice on his part -- not something he seeks out, but something that just is, because of the demands his job puts on him. Contrast this with the canon John, who liked the solitude of Antarctica, and had to think long and hard before giving that up.

Perhaps because of this unusual openness to his character, or perhaps because the story is from his POV and we thus get a peak into his head, he also seems to possess a vulnerability that we just don't see, or haven't yet seen, from canon John. This is most obvious in the scene with Francesca (a kidnapped girl he's been searching for but finds too late) and his subsequent reaction to her death, but also in his relationship with Rodney. Despite telling himself that he isn't gay, that he isn't really interested in Rodney and is just using him, he shows a remarkable passiveness in allowing Rodney to muscle him around, take care of him, and in the end almost falls into the relationship without meaning to. This highlights his loneliness, his need for human contact and affection, and leads me to see him as a younger, less hardened version of canon John (I even began to picture him as Joe Flanigan's part in 'Family Portrait').

In fact, this makes sense in the context of this universe. John dearly wanted to join the Air Force and become a pilot, but was disqualified at birth by a medical condition. Despite the obvious satisfaction he takes in his job, there's always the sense of melancholy that he couldn't follow his dreams:

He smoothes a hand over his face and gets distracted when he hears a hum outside the window, and when he turns, he sees a Blackhawk helicopter crawling across the sky, and he cannot, cannot look away.

He grew up on military bases but has had no military training. He deals with rapes and kidnappings and sometimes-gruesome murders, but he's never been to war. Obviously some innate compulsion to save lives remains intact, but he's gone through his career without the desperate trauma of full-scale battle. He does have to deal with some horrific things, but at the end of the day he can return to his nice house in quiet suburbia and work through it all at his own pace. There's no indication that he's ever lost people he's close to in his line of work.

Rodney, however, has led his life exactly the way we've seen it in canon, right up until that fateful morning with the bomb. Presumably he's not long returned from Siberia, and is now working in Cheyenne Mountain on the preliminaries for the Atlantis expedition. So his character should be akin to the Rodney McKay we first met in SG-1, previous to his posting to Antarctica. It more or less is -- snarky, obnoxious, holier-than-thou. However, I found myself pausing to think more than a couple of times.

The first thing that struck me was the use of the word 'yell'. Rodney 'yells' a lot in this story. Admittedly, I haven't seen his SG-1 episodes in a while, but whilst he was smug and arrogant and annoying, I don't remember him being particularly belligerent or neurotic. He was quite self-contained, expressing his panic in a very reasonable way, embracing the sense of inevitable doom-and-gloom with surprisingly little fuss. (My memory, of course, could be faulty -- please do correct me if I'm wrong about this). It was only later, on Atlantis where it was his and his team's lives on the line that he really began to show the neuroticism, raise his voice, gesticulate wildly. Arguably, this is the first time that he ever really understood the responsibility he held -- what it would mean for someone to die because he couldn't find the right solution. Contrast this with his dismissive attitude to Teal'c's situation in his very first appearance in the 'gateverse, and you can really see the character growth that he's undergone.

However, he hasn't undergone it yet. But you wouldn't know it from this story. This is very much a post-Atlantis Rodney in a pre-Atlantis setting. Bit of an anachronism, but I actually don't mind it too much. It works well enough in the early scenes, setting up a good dynamic between Rodney and John, and beyond that there's enough subtlety and skill in the writing that I can believe their relationship is having a significant impact on his behaviour.

That said, the particular characterisations for both Rodney and John fit very well together, and whilst it's never explained explicitly, you can really see what it is about each of them that leads them to need the other so much. Despite the nitpicks and a couple of inconsistencies in some of the details, it's that that makes this story such a good read, and one that holds up well to re-reading.

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So we needed a shift here -- in my collaborative WIP world, not the author's completed story world -- that would now show us Rodney's perspective and how John has changed him. They spend 10 months apart, and apparently the Rodney that returns is a lot nicer than the one that went, at least from what we see in the story. He's also ready to admit that John is important to him, and I, for one, would have liked to have seen how that change came about.

The other thing I wanted was that I wanted to see *how* John not being on the expedition changed things. I didn't buy that Atlantis wouldn't light up for anyone else, because I didn't get a chance to see it. They had Beckett and others on their team, people with the gene; why wouldn't they have become the focus for activating Atlantis.

And gene therapy? That still would happen. I don't see how not having John there would have changed that. That was the way I felt about a lot of stuff that was glossed over in that last section: there still would have been a rising, Sumner would still have gone through the gate, and the wraith would still have awakened. And I don't know how Rodney gets home from that.

So that's pretty much my quibbles. I loved the romance and relationship, but I had issues with the extrapolation of what would have happened if John wasn't on the team. Small things, I know.

I rationalised the expedition failing without John and his gene in particular: we know his is the strongest, or that he is most able to use it on an instinctive level. In 'Rising' we see the city responding to him specifically (the steps lighting as he goes up them) but not whether it responds the same to any others with the gene, and it was plausible to me that it didn't. Once I assumed the city didn't come on - they're not using power, so the shields don't start failing, so they don't need to go to Athos, so the Wraith don't wake, etc.

I like your idea about a change to Rodney's perspective; I didn't think Rodney was quite right (he felt turned up a few notches), and it would have been interesting to see him from inside.

If I promise to go look at that part of the ep later, can I talk about how I remember it now? *g* I remember it being that John goes up the stairs and turns right; Rodney is already up there, and the lights come on when he goes there.

But before then, there were people going left. And the lights came on for them, too. And I'm say lights, and air. 'cuz that's the thing I was really worried about, what with Atlantis being underwater and all, in that in 10K years, and doors not opening and heat not on and air circulation not occurring, would they be able to survive that long in just the gate room? Or would they all die because they couldn't breathe or developed hypothermia or something? I don't think they could last 10 months there like that; the system has to have come alive for someone for them to survive.

Which mean that while John does have the strongest gene, he's not really all that important to the expedition -- which is something I think works with what we know about him. it's fannon that he's the only person that Atlantis interacts with; other people, not just beckett, can do it too.

Sidebar, for the characterization thing - if he played football, he was probably 2nd string. John's always been a replacable guy.

I don't think they could last 10 months there like that; the system has to have come alive for someone for them to survive.

I think the ten months is the combined time Rodney spent in Antarctica plus the trip to Atlantis. I pretty much assumed they only spent a few days or maybe a couple of weeks in Atlantis. There would have been no reason to stay longer, once they determined that they couldn't get anything to work.

I agree, but I don't know that; the author gave us one timespan (ten months) and one going-away, so we don't have a clue how long they were in either location. Add into that the line about Rodney wiring 16 naquada generators together to get them out of atlantis, and it's just...well, my suspension of disbelief went snap. For some ungodly reason, the science of the fictional universe is important to me, and I hate to see it violated like that. I'm sure I would have totally bought into it if I had been shown what had happened, rather than being told.

I'm sure I would have totally bought into it if I had been shown what had happened, rather than being told.

Usually I'd agree with you, and definitely if we were watching the show, but I think in this case the story would've lost its focus if we'd detoured to Atlantis and watched everything that happened there. The story would've been much longer, the POV no longer John's.

There must've been some basic life-support going on even without John's gene because otherwise the AU Elizabeth would've suffocated before she could rotate the ZPMs! *g* The 16 naquadah generators I don't buy as much, but ah well :)

Yes, there are 2 stories here to me, one John's story (which is the one that was written), and one that was Rodney's (which we didn't get to see.) So technically, we are in agreement here; I just wanted to see the Rodney story too.

The marines that come in with Summer don't get lights, but neither does John though the stairs do light up for him. Doors open for the marines, and lights turn on for the guys going into the jumper bay, though John isn't with them. Summer and his team are the ones who discover that they are underwater, and the lights are on for them, 3 levels down. And Carson is the one who finds and turns on the big planetary display left by the ancients.

So yeah, I'm thinking John, not so vital to turning things on as fannon might have us suppose.

Okay. In the context of the show, I think that Atlantis began to wake up the minute anyone with a gene walked through the gate, and proximity didn't necessarily count for anything. Once the city awoke, it could sense life signs elsewhere and open the doors appropriately, or turn on the lights, even though those lifesigns didn't have the gene.

In the context of reconciling this with the story, it could be argued that Atlantis only began to wake up with the unusual strength of Sheppard's gene, and then everything else came online accordingly as I said above. Without him there, nothing would have been activated to begin with.

What you said about air and heat above is a good point. Air shouldn't have been a problem - the city is big and I'm sure the doors could have been pried open to allow circulation. Heat, however, would have been a problem. On Earth, the bottom of the ocean is a mere 3C, and after 10,000 years, all the insulation in the city walls and shield wouldn't protect them from that. It is a temperature they could survive in, but it would be pretty uncomfortable. Bed-sharing for all, I'd say!

Okay, I'll buy yout fanwank on the atlantis of this story being different from canon (it is an AU, right? *G*) Which actually helps me a lot, because as I said, I liked John's story and the relationship, but I had a hard time with that last act.

And yes! Bed-sharing. One big pile of not!down and as much thermal things as they can manage.

I'll buy yout fanwank on the atlantis of this story being different from canon... Which actually helps me a lot

*wanks away* any time ;)

Okay, here's where I get really, really obsessive, so please bear with me! The first people through the gate are Sumner, Bates, Weir, Stackhouse, and some random Marine, with a khaki green knapsack. Sumner and the Marine are the only ones wearing a cover. Next through is Ford, also wearing a cover and carrying a black knapsack, then Sheppard. When Sheppard steps through, the lights start coming on. We see Ford (cover, black knapsack) stepping to the side and the lights coming on. But Ford doesn't have the gene. Stackhouse has the gene by "38 Minutes" but we don't know if it's natural or artificial. But even if we assume it's natural and he had the gene in "Rising", it's only until John steps into the city that we see the lights coming on for Ford or anyone else.

Then, John and Rodney start up the steps. We get a shot of John stepping, and the stairs lighting up. A beat later, Rodney comes into view. Weir and Sumner stare at them and Weir asks, "Who's doing that?" and Sumner asks about alien presence. Now, it's not made explicit, but I tend to take all these cues to mean that John's presence is what the city is reacting to. So yeah, it's true he isn't with every Marine recon unit sent out into the city, but his gene has already initialised the city and the others don't have to be gene carriers to make non-essential functions work.

Now, it could very well be that Carson's gene would've been strong enough to wake up the city too, as well as do smaller things like turn on the hologram. We never know because John is the first confirmed gene-carrier to go through and the city did light up. But I think my reading of John as being necessary to wake the city can be supported by canon, which is why I don't have a problem with fics that use this particular fanon. YMMV, yadda, yadda. *g* Heh. Told you I was obsessive!

Yes, but the marines are already starting to wake up the place before John gets there. The first thing we see isn't flashy, it's a door opening, then we see the lights turn on. So I buy into 'any gene through the gate and the city starts reviving', and then we go from there.

And yes, totally obsessive! Bwa-ha-ha. ::maniacle laughter::

Hee! We're so sad, it's funny! Now, okay, I am totally willing to believe you since all I have is a burned copy of "Rising" that I watch on my computer, but I don't see any door opening. The first thing I see on the other side is John stepping through the gate, then the camera panning to Ford and him moving off to the side, the lights coming on. But it's dark (obviously!) and maybe I'm missing the door opening?

Of course, having said all that I still can buy John being necessary for the purposes of the fanfic, because I don't think all fanon is created equal and this particular fanon is just so cool ;)

the Rodney that returns is a lot nicer than the one that went

Or maybe it's just that he's a bit wiser.

I, for one, would have liked to have seen how that change came about.

Yes, it is tempting to want that, but this was John's story, not Rodney's. What we got was enough for me, because it wasn't Rodney's change that mattered so much, but John's reaction to it.

there still would have been a rising, Sumner would still have gone through the gate, and the wraith would still have awakened

If the city hadn't powered up, I doubt that the power drain that led to the shields failing would still have occurred. Hence no reason for Sumner to go through the gate, and no Wraith-awakening. I didn't buy the science of how they got back to Earth, though. Surely it would have been easier to just say they powered up the Atlantis gate with a naquadah generator, searched around some worlds for a bit, and eventually found a ZPM with sufficient charge to get them home. That was my only quibble in that regard.

Or maybe it's just that he's a bit wiser.

Either way, he changed, and it would have been nice to see that. And see, I agree with you on the main story -- the one that ends with Rodney leaving -- being John's story. That is totally about him and how this stanger enters his life and changes him, and I loved that. It's just that the epilogue was really Rodney's story, and we didn't get to see that.

And hey! Earlier up in the thread now I posted some of the things I noticed in going back through rising. Take a look for yourself and let me know what you think. I find it fascinating.

I didn't see Sheppard as being that passive at all. Actually, I saw him being -- inadvertantly -- rather manipulative, because he was leading McKay on knowing full well that what McKay thought was the case actually wasn't. And still the development of the relationship happened at Sheppard's pace, not McKay's. It was a rather twisted case of 'she let him chase her and chase her until she caught him.'

Seeing McKay's POV would have to be a whole other story, and personally, I don't think we need to see how McKay has changed because we do get to see how he hasn't which, for me, was more important.

I guess what it comes down to is that, for me, in non-collaborative WIP world, I rather like being able to imagine some of the things myself instead of having situations happen that I don't see or don't work or me. That can throw me out of the story.

I found that

rageprufrock skated along that line perfectly for me.

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Hindsight, by Rageprufrock

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