The first difficulty I had is with the death of John's mother. The author does a lovely job of showing it to us, of showing us how it affected John, but there is no payoff. The main story is a love story and the mother's death is never conncected to the love story. Had she shown us John talking to Rodney about his mother's death, I would have felt that it had a payoff, as it was I kept wondering when it was going to come up in the context of the relationship between John and Rodney and it never did.

The second difficulty I had is that the last third or so of the story is almost entirely exposition. John tells Rodney he isn't gay. They fight. They kiss. Then we're told that they kiss a lot more after that and eventually they have sex. Rodney asks John if he's sure, and that's it. After all of the build up I felt cheated. I wanted to know what made John decide he was ready for sex with Rodney. I wanted to know how he was feeling the first time they had sex. How did he feel seeing Rodney naked? How did he feel touching Rodney? I wanted to see Rodney's reaction when John said he wanted him. I wanted to know if Rodney was anxious or confident. I wanted to know what they said to one another and how they sounded saying it.

It wasn't just the sex that was given short shrift, either. There is an exposition description of them sharing post-coital confidences, but we didn't get to see it. I wanted to see it, to hear their words and see their expressions and reactions, to feel how hard or easy it was for them to share those things.

Because I didn't see those things, I wasn't entirely sure why John would choose Rodney over the woman he had moved in with. I hadn't fully seen John develop a deeper relationship with Rodney than he'd had with the various women who had moved in and out of his life.

Lastly, the pacing felt off. The last part of the story moved much faster than the first part, and less exposition would have helped with that.

Still, I enjoyed the story.