Do-Over, by Carolyn Claire

[carolyn-claire.livejournal.com]

Do-Over
John/Rodney, R, Humor: This is a short, kind of silly humor piece with a little angst, a little porn, written for the sga_flashfic community. I enjoyed it, with some reservations.


Overall, I enjoyed this story. It's silly and fun, and the characterizations are fairly good, though I thought Rodney's voice was better than John's. I have lower standards for a number of things when reading humor stories; sometimes the humor, and the characterizations, can be a little broad, but I mind less if it's in service to the laughs. This isn't how I'd picture the John of the series behaving, but the author uses blood loss, first, and later drunkenness to explain his goofiness, and those will do in a pinch. I enjoyed the visuals--when would I not enjoy picturing either of them naked--and was amused by the premise, while feeling for Rodney's plight. I'd have liked to have been Teyla, walking in at that moment. *g*

I wasn't sure of some of the positioning in the jumper; I wasted some time trying to figure out exactly where they were, considering there are benches they could have used in the back, and that threw me out a little. I'm wondering, too, if any amount of blood loss could prompt John to become so goony that he comes on to Rodney, whether Rodney's naked or not, after having been shot through the leg and running a distance from their captors. Still, it's humor and, like I said, my standards for characterization become more flexible for the funny. This was a decent, fluffy little read with some warm moments and a few chuckles.

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This is, obviously, my own story, used for demonstration purposes only. Please don't review your own stories or submit your own stories for review/discussion. You needn't discuss this one; it's an example. You can ask questions here about posting things, if you like.)